Truth be told, as a tall person you will attract the attention of people around you wherever you go, even if just for a moment. How you present and carry yourself (i.e. your posture and body language) in this moment will form the basis of what someone thinks about you. If you are slouching and always looking down you will be seen as nervous and lacking in confidence and it will negatively impact how you will be treated by the person making that judgement. The opposite also holds true.
There are a number of things you can do that will not only make you feel good about yourself but will boost your confidence. I’ve mentioned some of these in my previous blog posts:
Whilst the tips in those blog posts will definitely help you appear more confident and make you feel good about yourself, they will ultimately betray you if your mindset does not match.
By only focusing on developing the appearance of confidence you will be constantly micro-managing how you carry yourself, your posture and tone of your voice. In the overall objective of developing true confidence this is counter-productive. You will eventually come across people or situations that will challenge you and if deep down you aren’t truly confident and are only putting on an appearance then people will see through your guise.
What you really need to work on instead is developing a confident mindset.
A confident mindset will give you a level of confidence that won’t falter; one that isn’t faked nor will it breakdown if you are challenged. Having a confident mindset means that you won’t be worried about constantly adjusting your posture, keeping your head up and speaking slowly. You’ll do these things automatically and in your interactions people will believe it because it is true, because you believe it.
The core component of confidence
The core component of confidence comes from self-improvement and developing yourself to be the best version you can be.
You need to develop a strong belief in yourself and what you are capable of doing. Developing a confident mindset is not something you can achieve straight away – there is no magic switch in your mind that will automatically make you confident. It is a process that will take time, it won’t be easy and you will have many setbacks. The most important thing to remember is that you must never give up.
How a confident mindset looks
The mind of a confident person is one that has been built over time. Your end goal is to have complete trust and belief in yourself and your skill set. When you get to this point you will not be afraid to fail and you will feel like nothing can stop you.
Confidence is about will and belief. It’s not in the belief that success is inevitable but that it’s achievable. Confidence isn’t about believing that you’re perfect, it’s about understanding that you’re not and working to improve yourself. Developing your confidence means being willing to invest in yourself and to strive for it, even in the face of failure. Being confident is what gives you the strength to get back up when you’ve been knocked down and try again, because you know that you can work hard and do better each time.
The irony is that in order to get better at something at which you’ve failed in the past, you need to do more of it and keep failing until you improve. You’ve got to do this whilst simultaneously improving yourself. That’s the cold hard truth.
Where to start?
The good news is that you can build confidence in any area of your life. For some, certain areas are going to take more effort. If it’s a totally new experience, it’s going to be hard at the start, but with time, you’ll feel more and more comfortable with doing it.
My advice is to start with one small (and relatively easy) area that you want to improves then work your way from there. Don’t try to go from 0 to 100 and try to do a complete 180 degree change straight away. Not only is that unrealistic but if you deal with a lot of failure straight away it may leave you feeling discouraged.
For example, if you are a tall woman who likes to wear heels but is self-conscious then you need to wear heels more often! Sure, you might get jealous looks from shorter girls or you may feel like a giant but I promise you that nothing bad will come from it. Your height is a part of who you are and if wearing heels makes you feel strong and feminine then who’s to say you shouldn’t!
This is just one of many examples. You need to learn to embrace your height, it’s a blessing, not a curse!
Stand tall and be proud.
- Image credit for confident lion (cover image): here